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TRAVELS IN CHINA 2002

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The Big Day Arrives

Well, it was Saturday, the big day. In adherence to Chinese custom all the family men slept at Yuening's apartment and all of the women at Ama's place. Yuening was now bedecked with the appropriate jewelry and clothing, a minimum of which appears to be the bracelet and a gold necklace with jade pendant. This morning, she had her makeup and hair done by a professional that specializes in such things. Early, about 9:00, Yuening's sister came over to decorate the bedroom with a very Chinese looking paper cut that is the symbol of good luck for marriages. This, and many other things, have been personally gathered over the previous few days in preparation for this day, Saturday, 30 November, 2002.

This date has been determined an auspicious one by fortune tellers and feng-shui masters, and even the time for our supper was arrived at by Chinese traditional means. I had been told that Wei and his (girl)friend, Lu Ju would come later in the morning and that we would have lunch together, apart from Yuening.

All through the morning the phone rang. General Yuening's battle field commanders checking in before the final encounter at the revolving hotel restaurant. I gave all callers Yuening's number, in Chinese of course. I inspected my red silk-with-gold-dragons jacket that Yuening had carefully made arrangements for. Paul had gone to buy a sport coat and turtleneck the previous day. I sit writing this in the dining room, where I wrote every morning while in Nanning. The street/alley noises came through the windows, which were always open despite rain, cold, sun or heat. Above the noise from outside I could hear the quartz clock on the shelf ticking the final countdown to the day's festivities, like it would do any in any good melodrama. It had finally gotten "weird enough for me," to quote Hunter Thompson.

We decided to defy Yuening's orders and go out for awhile to run a few errands. Just as we were getting into a taxi, Wei's cell phone rang and, of course, it was Yuening. We finished our errands and then taxied to where Yuening was having her hair and makeup done so I could take pictures and see the process.

We went to a place where they specialize in doing weddings; from renting the dress to the last curl of the lashes, they do it and do it very well indeed. I have never seen Yuening more lovely. Intermittently, sedans covered with flowers would pull up and load one of the young beauties for their day of days. We then returned to Yuening's house where she finished her routine. We were soon collected by someone in a mini-mini van for the trip to Yuening's parents' house. When we arrived at Ama's, there sat a flower-decorated black sedan waiting for our departure. The heart shaped piece on the hood alone was made of 66 roses and there were many more attached to the vehicle in various places. As we entered the house, there were about 100 (probably 99, knowing the Chinese penchant for the lucky number nine) balloons on the floor. Liang xi handed me a huge bouquet of nineteen roses and told me that I must find where Yuening was hiding. I searched all of the rooms and finally found her in one of the bedrooms, where I presented her bouquet. We went back to the living room, where the balloons were, and commenced to stomping and popping them for good luck. Yuening and I were pinned with rose corsages while the whole family looked on and Liang Xi danced around. We then went to the family alter and bowed three times while offering incense and asking their blessing. I served tea to Yuening's parents and grandmother, starting with Apa. After tradition was satisfied we took several pictures and then went to the flower-decorated car for a tour of Nanning with Wei and his girl, Lu Ju.

Along our tour we stopped at a beautifully landscaped park where we took more pictures. Another Chinese couple, in modern dress, wanted to take a picture with us, despite the fact that they didn't even know who we were. We also stopped on a 4-lane bridge with much traffic and were almost bashed several times by passing trucks and cars. For the whole tour, the mini-mini van followed and, with both side doors open, filmed our procession. They would pass us, filming inside our car while panning to keep us in view. Whenever we stopped, the crew of family members would leap out with their video equipment and follow our walk in the park and the taking of pictures that ensued. This wedding was covered like one of the royal family was getting married. My camera alone, in the hands of others, spooled 108 shots this day. After a walk in the park and risking our necks on the bridge, we finally arrived at the Nan Fang hotel and swooped up to the 22nd floor.

I was instructed in the proper way to do things by Wei, given some noodles and then me, Paul, Wei, Yuening, and Lu Ju were hustled downstairs to the hotel's front steps to greet guests. Ama and others joined us in a few minutes. We lined up on the front steps next to the receiving lines for three other Chinese weddings that were simultaneously going on at the hotel. When each guest arrived, they would give us their name and a red envelope with money and it. Wei was issued a tray full of peanuts, sunflower seeds and packages of cookies, and each guest took a few on their way in. I was there to offer a cigarette to each male guest, while Yuening lit it for them. This did not seem to clash with Yuening's hatred for smoking, as a doctor and personally. I have seen her pull a cigarette from a man's mouth and stomp it out on the floor of a bus while rattling on a mile minute in Chinese and pointing to the no smoking sign in the front. Somehow, tradition allowed her to give coffin nails to her guests and light than personally. Because it's China, that's why.

The guests kept arriving, with Treasurer Ama snatching their red envelope as soon as they had gone inside. I stood there and smilingly passed out cigarettes; the General will not be denied. After an hour or so, a market set up on the street outside. They set up a cassette player with loudspeakers and started blasting us. Instantly, Yuening's sister, apparently a colonel under Yuening's tutelage, dashed over and waved her hands and yelled a lot. Relative silence ensued and everyone smiled again. These women were not to be messed with.

All the while, we greeted guests along with the three other wedding parties. A crowd gathered below to watch the show. It looked like the Oscar awards with everyone arriving on foot and by scooter. At some point, there were 5 to 100 people on the sidewalk staring up at the spectacle, and I can tell you that more than one-half were always below our door. I told Yuening that of course it is because she is the loveliest of the four brides, which she is, by far. But it was probably because of the giant westerner in a red silk Tang dynasty jacket covered in dragons. Either way, we stole the show until, leaving a colonel at the door to direct stragglers, we headed upstairs to the supper itself.

When we arrived, the guests were seated and waiting for the show. I was reminded of the protocol by Wei and "away we go." We thanked our guests for coming and bowed them welcome. We stomped more balloons while being sprayed with liquid string by six people. All the while, flashes popped and the videotape rolled. Through it all, Yuening lit up with a million watt glow - what a show! Plane tickets, $1050. Meals, travel tours and hotels, $900. Wedding supper and associated hoopla, $1100. That glow on her face -- priceless. We headed for supper at the 11 tables full of people, 8-10 at each.

The food was great! Everything was there, from chickens to squid, fish to noodles. When it ran low, girls brought more - and then the toasts started. I had brought two quarts of Kentucky's finest for this eventuality, in two one-liter unbreakable bottles. These were divided into tiny pitchers at each table to be poured into the thimble-sized toasting cups. Lu Ju followed me and Yuening to each table, starting with the family elders', and filled our glasses for toasts to each table's occupants. Yuening sipped her single thimble across all the tables, while I went bottoms-up at each in the spirit of the moment and for the need of a few shots after this day's events. One table in particular was boisterous about this toasting business, and one crew-cut fellow who had grown up with Yuening was particularly likable and likely to toast in an amicable and spirited way; we did so many times. When he introduced with rice wine into the proceedings, I said what the hell and carried on like a good soldier. To my chagrin, I found later that good bourbon and rice wine meet in the stomach like the Communists and the Nationalists did a few decades ago.

We finished our supper with me and Yuening serving tea individually to each guest as each paid for their cup with a few Renmimbi in the traditional way. Somehow, I was shuffled into our car, and I barely made it home before the Nationalists and Communists in my stomach engaged in their final conflagration and it all wound up in the sink. To my great face-saving wonderment, Yuening's crew-cut friend called the next day and admitted that he had had a similar gastrointestinal battlefield engagement, so at least I was somewhat vindicated. We never settled who had won, Mao or Chiang, but I slept the night away in somnerific bliss.

Of course, all of the foregoing events were somewhat of a smoke and mirrors scenario. We had made arrangements for a K-1 visa, which means we could not be legally married until Yuening's arrival in the United States. After checking with the department of state, we were told that if we were actually married we would have to restart the process for K-3 (spouse) visa and wait about one year. I felt that it was important for her and her family to be able to celebrate the event together in their traditional way, so we did everything but the actual signing of the papers in Nanning, leaving the final paperwork to be done when she arrived in the United States. We had applied for expedited processing, but Uncle Sam would not commit to any time frame other than between 20 days and one year - my government at its best.

CHINA TRIP 2001 TAIWAN TRIP 1999

(1) U.S. TO CANTON (2) CANTON (3) NANNING, REPRISE (4) WEDDING TALK (5) REALLY DIFFERENT (6) ONLY ONE!

(7) CUSTOM CLOTHES (8) HIGH GROUND (9) MUGGED (10) TO GUILIN (11) LI RIVER (12) WEI'S CLASS

(13) THE BIG DAY (14) WEDDING ALBUM (15) HEADING HOME

THERE ARE MANY GRAPHICS ON THESE PAGES - PLEASE BE PATIENT AS THEY LOAD!